You’ve just found out a friend has cancer. What do you do?
Everyone’s different, of course, and those who’ve been diagnosed with cancer will all react to and handle the disease and its treatment in their own ways. But here are some ideas to show your support.
Let them know you’re there for them. A lot of people worry that they will be bothering someone with cancer by calling, e-mailing, or writing her. Consequently, they don’t get in touch. If someone undergoing treatment or reeling from the news doesn’t feel like talking, he won’t answer the phone. But hearing from friends will mean a lot, and just knowing that others are thinking of them can lift their spirits. They might not have the energy to be in touch regularly themselves but will appreciate hearing from those who care. Better to let someone know you’re there for them, even if they never take you up on offers of help, than to say nothing at all.
Offer to attend doctors’ appointments as a record-keeper. Take notes. There is so much information a new cancer patient has to absorb that it can be overwhelming. Help him or her understand what’s ahead. Offer to do research into alternative treatments if she’s interested.
Drop off a care package at home. Cancer treatment is tough not just on the person going through it but also on the whole family. A patient’s spouse might be driving the partner to and from doctor’s appointments and hospital treatments, while at the same time possibly shuttling kids to and from school. They may well be too tired at the end of the day to put a wholesome meal on the table. Consider making a few hearty, delicious, nutritious meals that can be frozen for the whole family. Throw in some treats like organic dark chocolate.
Give your friend things to pass time while in the hospital. Whether someone’s recovering from surgery or other hospital procedures or spending a day hooked up to IVs for chemo, he might appreciate things like new magazines, books, or DVDs. If he doesn't have the energy to read, consider an audio book.
If your friend is having a serious procedure like a bone-marrow transplant and will have to spend weeks in hospital, make her a photo album to take with her. Fill it with pictures of family, friends, and pets. Type up and print inspiring quotes, proverbs, words of wisdom, or poems and insert them along with the photos.
Offer whatever kind of help your friend might need, whether it’s driving, visiting, taking care of kids, cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking meals, tending to the garden, cutting the grass, setting up doctor’s appointments.
Consider gifts that will make your friend as comfortable as possible during cancer treatment and recovery: a cozy bathrobe, fluffy slippers, a hot-water bottle, a pillow, an eye mask, flannel pyjamas, a journal and pen, and if you can splurge, an iPod. Load it up with his favourite tunes.
Think positive, healthy thoughts for your friend. One good sentiment leads to another. If you believe in a higher power, pray.
Do anything else that you think your friend would appreciate. Whatever you do, don’t do nothing.
Gail Johnson - Hello! I'm the health editor of Vancouver's Georgia Straight newspaper, where I also copy edit and write about everything from food and ...
